Being valued is a vital part of a person’s life. We need to know where we belong and what we need to achieve. We feel safe and confident when we are in the right place and doing “our thing”. A few months ago, I found myself feeling like I no longer had a purpose. I didn’t know what to do with myself. It was a hard place to be.
What Gives You Purpose?
What defines “that thing” that makes us who we are and gives us the standard that we live by? It’s not defined by those around us. We subconsciously choose what we feel gives us value by the things we prioritize and are good at. And so, when we’re achieving whatever it is that makes us feel wanted and needed, whether or not others see it that way, we feel safe and confident and VALUED. Someone with a purpose.
You can read my disclosure here.
Like I said, recently, I found myself without a purpose, or so I thought. My husband and I were the owners of three successful businesses. Home decor and furniture, hair styling, and an online clothing auction. Splitting the work between us; we worked well together. Due to demand, we were always working. Both of us worked a full day and late most nights. More often than not weekends too. Time with friends and family is important to us so we somehow managed to fit that in too. We were crazy busy! Too busy, actually.
It was definitely hard on us. We needed a break more often than we took one but we enjoyed it. I love work. You know that little girl who dreams of getting married and living happily ever after? That was me. Running a business and loving it, never occurred to me! Any guesses as to what makes me feel valued?
Sadly our beautiful country had been on a downward spiral economically and it took a turn for the worst. We had to close down our businesses and decided to leave.
New Place, No Purpose
Three months later, I found myself in a new and foreign place with my husband out on the farm all day. We were miles away from everywhere. Without internet or even phone signal, I had “nothing” to do! Worst of all, I was bereft of my best friend and companion (my hubby).
It’s very hard to adjust to doing “nothing” when we worked as much as we did. I also found myself missing all the time we used to spend together. My days were busy but I still felt as though I was achieving nothing. I was afraid of the question, “What do you do all day?” because I honestly had no answer. I felt that I desperately needed to be able to say that I was working.
In my mind, I had no purpose.
Then I discovered something. You can re-define your purpose. Before, I had found value in the beautiful furniture we made. The hairstyles I did. The popular and professional clothing auction we had built from scratch and the many happy customers we served but that would be a very small life if that was all that made me, me.
I began to see my purpose in other things – in being a wife that loves her husband. In cooking, which I don’t love doing, but it is a daily necessity. Making our home beautiful – there is a ton to do in that area as the house we’ve recently moved into needs a lot of love! Painting which I haven’t done for years. In shopping lists and sorting cupboards and lists of to do’s. You get the picture. It’s a new season and in it, I needed a new purpose.
Of course, all of those things were important before but work came second after my husband, and everything else just found a place. So you see, to find the fulfillment that I had previously found in my work I needed to see and recognize my new role.
You are the author of your own story. You define your purpose. So feel valued and know that you belong.
WE LIMIT OURSELVES BY THE BOUNDARIES WE SET FOR OUR LIVES!