Welcome To The Journey!

Life has many things in store for you as you walk this path we call “adulting”.

Some so incredible you’ll feel on top of the world, and some so crushing you’ll struggle to find the will to go on. But go on you must! Why? Well, because it’s life.

I’m not telling you to just shut up and cope.

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That is not healthy or productive. Many people will tell you to do just that. It’s your choice to listen. Learn not to.

That isn’t life. That’s being alive whilst enduring a miserable existence of coping, and loneliness. Life is about balance and finding joy and contentment whilst working towards your dreams.

It’s about goals and dreams, failures and successes, loss and gain, and learning.

We never stop learning until we die.

It’s Your Life

Let me tell you something – your life is in YOUR hands. I’m going to say that again.

Your life is in YOUR hands. Don’t rob yourself of that.

Also, realize the responsibility of it. The decisions you make? Those are on you. Take care to make good ones!

Don’t worry you will and you’ll also make some mistakes but pick yourself up and learn from them.

A bad decision is an opportunity to make a new wise one. Your adulting skills are defined by how you decide to fix what was broken or what you broke.

Often when we make a mistake we back it up by making a worse one and that starts a bad pattern.

Never avoid fixing your mistakes because it’s the tough choice. You’ll rob yourself of personal development and a long term happy outcome.

Don’t believe the lie that the easy way will work out. The easy way out of a bad decision is cheap and leads you down a path of many heartbreaking moments.   

On the flip side of the coin, good decisions work the same way. Every wise one you make for your life has a ripple effect. The more you make the more you continue to make.

The tough part is those wise decisions are most often not the easier option. But trust yourself you’ll know which way is right for you.

Using Goals To Achieve Your Dreams For Your Life

Having no direction leaves you bobbing like an anchored boat. It floats a little one way and then as the wind changes it floats the other way but really that boat is going nowhere.

The anchor we often don’t notice in our lives is our failure to actively sit down and take stock of where we’re at, who we want to be, what our dreams are, and how we’re going to achieve all of that.

It’s called having goals. You know the scary thing? The majority of us just let life happen as we watch it pass by. We enjoy thinking of our dreams but we never realize we can actually achieve them.

Oh, but we can and the how-to is simple. Goals. Goals are little steps that break down an enormous, daunting idea into little achievable tasks.

It’s not hard to set goals. Of course, it takes some thought but I’m pretty sure if you take ten minutes to think about it, you’ll have quite a few things that you’d like to get done!

Here’s how it works.

Don’t write down what goals you think you need to have. Start with this:

  • Think about a few things you’d really love to do, get, or change in your life. It can be anything. I did this a few years ago and one of mine was to start my own business but to do that I also needed a car. So getting a car was my first step. It’s ok if you have loads, just write them down.
  • Choose two or three from your list. Congrats these are the dreams you’re going to work on. Before you know it they will become part of your reality! If you have a few doubts that’s ok! I definitely did. So now for the goals!  
  • Take the first of your three and write down a few simple things you can do to start working towards that dream. Don’t write more than three. I get stuck and don’t do a thing when I’m overwhelmed so don’t let that happen to you!
  • Do the steps and when they’re done work on the next three and in a short time your dream will start to seem closer than ever and it will be!

Here’s What I Did To Get That Car And Start My Business

I had no money. I also had no job so I couldn’t apply for a bank loan. So what could I do? I needed a loan from somewhere. I wracked my brains for any company or person who might give me a loan.

It was a bit scary. Getting a loan from your bank is one thing but approaching a business or person to ask for one, that’s quite another.

It’s very daunting. They have no reason to give you one. Why should they help you? Who are you to them?

All of those are things you need to ignore. Read this to see if you’re putting life on hold because of insecurities. A lot of the time there are many opportunities available to us but we miss out because we allow ourselves to give in to insecurities. Don’t do that!

From my list, I decided who to approach. I was offering them nothing in return. No value to add to their life or business. I just wanted a loan and of course, I was prepared to pay interest.

I was blown away by the response from this businessman that I respected so much! After discussing it with his wife he said he was happy to loan me the money but he had three conditions.

One was to borrow more than I’d asked for so that once I had bought the car I could pay for a full service and new tires (I was buying it second-hand). Second, he advised that I have the car checked by a reliable mechanic before purchasing it. And third, he put me in contact with his personal insurer and asked that I insure the vehicle immediately.

The value of his thought and advice I will always be grateful for! While his conditions were a safeguard for his investment they were a huge benefit to me as I know was his intention. I had a reliable, insured vehicle with my first service paid for which gave me the freedom to focus on my business without trying to find money I didn’t have for the service and insurance.

About six short weeks after writing down my steps to achieve my business. Step one was done! I HAD A CAR! Yes, I also had a loan to pay off but the amazing thing is in just over a year using the business I was able to start I managed to pay off my car.

So a year after writing down those dreams, turning them into goals, and taking steps to achieve them, I had my own car and a small successful business at the age of twenty-one!

See where my ten minutes of thinking about what I wanted and writing down goals got me!

If I hadn’t done that, I don’t know where I’d be today but I don’t think I’d like it very much.

Failures

You are not defined by the mistakes you make, you are defined by how you choose to correct and grow from them.

Joanna Steele

Never be afraid to fail! Either you will never try anything, or you will feel crushed when your best-laid plans come to nothing.

It’s so easy to look at a successful person who has it all together and forget the most important thing – the journey they took to get where they are!

developgoodhabits.com tells the stories of incredible people who shaped our world and some who are still shaping it today. They all have one thing in common – failure.

Some of them even failed over one thousand times before they did what they set out to do. You need to read it. You will be so encouraged and inspired to set your goals and work towards them.

So learn to welcome failure!

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

Albert Einstien

Failure shapes who we are. It’s not failing, it’s learning that the way we tried didn’t work. That’s valuable!

The success of our failure is that we have new experiences that will guide us in new ways.

Success

The picture of success looks a little different in everyone’s life because we decide for ourselves what defines success.

But when plans have crumbled and life is not going as you thought it should. Does that mean you’re unsuccessful?

No.

Here’s why. Yes, success is defined by doing well, making money, being great at your job, many things.

Those things are not what make you successful though.

Do you love your family and friends and look after them? You make sure your pets are fed, right? Do you wake up every day and do what you need to do? What about your bills, do you pay them? And your stuff, do you keep things clean and maintained?

Then you’re a success!

Successful people look after the “small” stuff. The everyday mundane things that need doing. If you live life doing that, you could be the poorest, most disorganized, least successful seeming person and still be a success because you do what you need to do.

It’s our lives, right? So do what you need to do and have the confidence to feel the success of your own achievements. Don’t measure up against some CEO and decide to hide under a rock because you’ll never be where they are!

Work towards your dreams and enjoy the journey!

Joanna Steele

Loss & Gain

Two things we’ll all go through in some way or another are loss and gain.

Much of the time neither is really in our control.

Losing is tough. In whatever area loss happens it’s hard and hurts. It’s something we grieve over. But it’s also something we live through. Most of the time with a loss we also gain something. Sometimes, though, it’s hard to see anything good.

How can we possibly imagine we’ve gained something when all we can focus on is the pain of the loss.

*I’m not talking about the loss of a loved one. That pain is unbearable and the grief a completely different one.*

My husband and I lost over twenty thousand dollars in our first year married. To some that won’t seem much but to us the crushing weight of that debt affected every area of our young hopeful lives.

Short story, we owned a farm, at the end of the season we had an excellent crop and when we harvested we found that there had been major theft.

Our worst lands were producing well over what we had expected and our best far below. Some of the security team were in on the theft.

So we paid who we could, left the farm and started our second year of marriage with debt on our shoulders.

For those who haven’t experienced it, debt means – no traveling, no shopping even for small things, saying no when friends invite you to do things, barely paying bills, living so carefully that you feel like you should cut food off the budget.

And the worst part, feeling stuck. Feeling like it will never end. That you’ll always be where you are, achieving nothing.

You won’t though.

Here’s What We Gained

First of all, we learned that even though we faced a make or break marriage situation. We didn’t break, thank God! Our relationship grew stronger as we worked on the debt together.

One day during one of the hardest times of the debt, we got home to make dinner, knowing we needed to work another late night.

But we had nothing in the fridge, when I say nothing, I mean literally nothing. We should have just turned it off to save electricity! All we had was a lonely old sweet potato that had sprung a shoot about four inches long with three leaves on it.

My husband opened the fridge to start on dinner. Nothing. He turned to me and said, “there’s no food,” and I immediately replied, “we can’t say that until we’ve eaten that potato!”

We burst out laughing! And that has become one of our funniest memories!

It’s a reminder that it was dismal but we were fine and working on it together. We gained strength together and found humor in the midst of difficulty.

We also gained valuable work experience in areas we never would have. Between us we managed a custom-made furniture business, a clothing auction and I did hairdressing for myself as well.

We worked every day and most nights and weekends. It was exhausting.

But we learned so much about business strategy, advertising, marketing, customer service and more. My husband had only ever farmed so in doing a different type of work we both found we had a great business sense and loved it.

At the end of the year, we had managed to pay off almost half of the debt.

Something surprising that we gained was this. The economy of the country we lived in failed towards the end of our second year.

If we had not fallen into debt the first year we would have farmed another year.

And if we had, due to the failed economy, we would have found ourselves with over one hundred thousand dollars of debt!

I’d rather take the twenty-something, thanks!

So on the other side of loss, there can be something to gain. Learn to flip the coin and see how what you’ve lost might just benefit you.   

Lessons Of Life

This part of life, the learning, it’s good and bad, fun and not-so-fun. And it’s something none of us can get away from. There’s always something we don’t know that we need to learn.

So the last thing I encourage you to do is to embrace learning. If you greet new things with a confident attitude and open mind you will enjoy the process. You will find beauty and amazement in the life around you. You will work well with others and build a life that you are happy with.

But if you don’t embrace learning and refuse to accept anything that changes your surroundings, your world will be small.

And the crazy thing is, life has a way of bringing things in and shaking up our plans uninvited. You’ll find yourself learning things you didn’t want to learn, the hard way.

New is not bad and learning to do something a different way does not mean we weren’t good at something before it just means we’ve learned to be better.

Learning is a gift. The more we know the more we are capable of.

We must value any opportunities we have to learn something.

Life’s a Roller Coaster

There are ups and downs and such beautiful views!

Enjoy the ride and have fun “adulting”!

Comments (2)

  1. Reply

    Thank you for sharing your story, so inspiring. So often a bad situation turns out to have saved you from an even worse one. Everything happens for a reason!

    • Reply

      Hi Rosie! Thanks! I definitely agree that everything happens for a reason. I’m grateful for the bad situations that save us from even worse ones. Looking back I often realize the bad ones were a good learning curve! Have a lovely day!

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